Crazed
by Katherine Quinn
Summary: They can't help themselves. A series of stand alone stories of an adult nature between two consenting women. A/O
1. The Backseat

Olivia sighed looking back out over the lake in front of them. The sun had finally dipped below the horizon, leaving only the slightest hint on a pinkish hue across the water. The picnic in front of them was gone, and the fall air was starting to get a chill to it. The picnic had been a surprise that Olivia had planned for Alex to get them both away from the tension of their jobs. It was a great day, both of them had laughed, relaxed, and their stress had seemed to melt away.

Alex, sitting next to her, held her knees to her chest as she stared forward, looking out over the water with an absent look in her eyes. The wind gently blew her hair away from her face as she smiled at something that was only apparent in her own mind.

"You ready?" Olivia asked absently, as she looked at Alex and smiled.

"I guess," Alex sighed, not moving from her spot on the blanket.

With another sigh, Olivia stood, stretching for a moment before reaching her hands down to pull Alex to her feet. Catching her, Olivia placed a small kiss on her neck before letting her go. Alex smiled her and pushed her away. "Incorrigible." She whispered under her breath while Olivia laughed lightly. They started walking slowly back to the car, almost shyly.

"You gonna let me drive?" Olivia asked with a smile.

"I don't know," Alex said with a teasing smile. "I don't know that you even appreciate her," she said, rubbing her hand over the pearl hood of her car as she leaned gently against it, appraising Olivia as she approached with a grin lighting her face.

"Her?" Olivia laughed.

Alex smiled back seductively. "She's my baby." With a grin at Olivia, she let her fingers run gently down the hood as she watched Olivia's eyebrow raise.

"I thought that's what you said about me," Liv laughed again as she took a step closer to Alex closing in on her personal space.

"Different category." Alex smiled, as she looped her fingers through the detective's belt loops and pulled her closer, letting her head rest on Olivia's shoulder.

"I promise to appreciate her." Olivia said.

"I don't know," Alex said with a smile, "What is it exactly that you love about her?"

"Her power. The control. I like the sound she makes when I'm behind the wheel." Olivia said wiggling her eyebrows with a teasing nip at Alex's neck. Alex giggled, as she wondered suddenly whether either of them were really talking about the car anymore. Olivia looked deep into her eyes, and carefully pushed a piece of Alex's soft blonde hair behind her ear, letting her fingers run a gentle trail down Alex's chin. Olivia's proximity had an intoxicating effect on her. She felt her heart rate triple as the autumn air carried a smoky breath out of her mouth. Willing her mind to take control, she took a deep breath and pushed Olivia back.

"Come on," Alex said. "We should get in." She dangled the keys from her finger as Olivia smiled and pulled them off.

Instead of getting into the car, Olivia held Alex close and looked into Alex's eyes with a mischievous grin. Alex looked at her with a questioning glare as she followed Olivia's eyes to the backseat of the car.

"No." Alex said as she caught the flicker in Olivia's eyes.

"Come on, live a little Alex." Olivia smiled.

"No." Alex repeated. "Absolutely not."

Olivia smiled, and tilted her head at Alex, begging permission without saying a word.

"We could get caught. We probably will get caught." Alex protested.

"We could." Olivia agreed. "But isn't everything in life that's exciting risky?" She asked. "Maybe even worth the risk?" She ventured. She watched as Alex's eyes went from the back seat of the car to her. Alex bit her lip as she pondered the question. They were in the middle of nowhere. But if they got caught? Would either of them ever live it down?

"So you're willing to risk everything?" Alex asked her. "The lives we know? Is that what you're telling me?" She asked. "You're willing to throw it all away just to fuck in the back of my car?" She asked with a quiet sense of seduction that Olivia recognized immediately. She realized how close Alex was to giving in and she couldn't deny her own excitement at the prospect of taking Alex right there and then.

"To fuck you in the back of your car." Olivia corrected. She heard herself forcing bravado into her voice as she came up with her answer. "Yeah. I guess I am," she said seductively as she leaned in and kissed Alex just below her ear, a spot that Olivia knew made Alex's knees go weak.

Alex could feel the handle of the door behind her back, pressing into her as Olivia closed the distance between them. The look in Olivia's eyes didn't make her choice easier as her mind raced through consequences while her body gave her its own series of responses to Olivia's query.

In a moment, her decision was made as all her willpower collapsed and her body took over her mind. Alex's mouth came down on Olivia's in a deep kiss. Olivia's hands reached for her hips as she pulled Alex into her, closing all the space between them. Alex's mouth was hungry and demanding, sucking the air from Olivia's lungs and causing her to moan involuntarily. It was a kiss that lit Olivia's body on fire immediately, every fiber of her coming alive in a second making her core pulse. She could feel her whole body responding to the sudden contact, as they fumbled backwards against the car.

"Get in," Olivia moaned into Alex's mouth as she fought to keep their lips together while pushing them both into the car, pulling the door shut behind her.

The inside of the car was dark and warmer than the air. As they slid across the seat, Olivia could hear the sound of Alex's jeans sliding against the leather. She pulled at Alex's shirt, sliding her hands over the soft skin of her stomach, roaming up her body as their mouths stayed locked together. The faintest glow of the moon lit the car, just enough to make the inside of the car dark and surreal. It was the kind of light that would allow both of them to wake up in the morning and tell themselves that they hadn't done what they were about to do.

Olivia fumbled with Alex's zipper, which in the quiet interior of the car sounded like a train coming through the darkness. Alex's back arched to allow Olivia access to slide her pants off her hips and down her legs enough to gain the leverage she needed. Alex moaned as Olivia pounced back on her in a second; her fingers, lips, and tongue started their full on assault. Alex felt herself going from slick to soaked as her breath tore from her chest. She felt her body clenching around something that wasn't even there yet, as she whimpered for Olivia to move lower. In moments she was dancing on the line, sliding down the razor edge of orgasm, but she didn't want to come just yet.

"Please," she managed to gasp and was surprised to hear the word come out all breathy and strangled. It sounded foreign in her ears. She reached desperately for the button on Olivia's jeans as the sound of a second zipper broke the silence in the car. The sound alone made her body light back up. She was being killed slowly—and amazing death, and she was determined to take Olivia with her. Seconds later, she had Olivia on the verge with her, as Olivia's hot ragged breath played in her ears.

"I'm gonna…" Olivia whispered in her ear between heavy breaths.

"Me too…" Alex moaned.

"Come for me," Olivia whispered back. Alex's body tensed below her, and Olivia kissed her deeply to stifle the scream she knew would come from the blonde's lips. Knowing she wasn't far behind, Olivia took a deep breath and let her body take over while Alex gently pulled her over the edge.

Olivia groaned and let herself fall into Alex's sweat soaked body. For a few seconds, the two rested together in total silence, their breath the only sound cutting through the air.

Olivia laid her head between Alex's breasts. "Was it worth it? The risk?" she whispered.

Alex nodded, studying the light coming in through the windows. "Yes," she whispered back, catching her breath.

_It will be next time too,_ she thought, and that was the precise moment she knew that she was hopelessly under Olivia Benson's spell.


	2. So Smart

"You've been very bad," Alex said, with a sly grin on her face as she took a slow step towards the brunette seated on the bed in front of her. Her steps were intentionally unhurried, as she watched Olivia squirm in front of her. Olivia's brown eyes were on the floor; her legs dangling over the edge of the bed as she sat with her shoulders slumped.

Olivia looked up at her with wide brown eyes and swallowed hard. "I know." She whispered.

"You spent this whole day teasing me." Alex reminded, something that Olivia not only knew, but was silently proud of.

"I know," Olivia said again, letting her eyes fall again in the hopes that the blonde wouldn't see the smirk that was threatening to break out on her face.

"The phone calls." Alex said, with a step closer to Olivia. "The text messages."

"I thought they were clever." Olivia said, trying not to smile.

"'I can't wait to taste you' did not help me focus on closing arguments."

"I was telling the truth." Olivia said looking up into Alex's eyes with flashed with a lusty anger.

"That picture." Alex said, as she continued her slow dance towards Olivia.

"It was creative." Olivia offered.

"I was talking to Petrovsky." Alex said, crossing her arms in front of her.

"Oh." Olivia tried not to laugh.

"It's not funny Olivia." Alex warned.

"I know," Olivia answered trying to pull the smile off her face.

"You were bad." Alex said again, locking eyes with Olivia, the heat in the room rising with each centimeter Alex managed to close between them.

Olivia felt herself lick her lips as she watched Alex stalk closer to her. Without even realizing it, her hands lifted to reach out for the blonde goddess walking towards her. They rested on her hips, trying to pull Alex into her.

"Oh, I don't think so." Alex said, pushing her arms down. "You're going to be punished."

"But Allie," Olivia whined, intentionally using the nickname for Alex that she knew tended more than anything to piss her off. She moved slowly, lifting her hands back up, trying to pull at the shirt tucked fully into Alex's skirt.

"Don't even try it," Alex said, staring downwards into Olivia's brown eyes. Slowly, she unbuttoned her jacket and let it slide down her shoulders. She put a finger on Olivia's shoulder and pushed her backwards. Without complaining, Olivia scurried backwards on the bed and watched as Alex seductively crawled towards her. Olivia leaned back against the headboard and watched appreciatively as Alex approached

Straddling Olivia's legs, Alex leaned back on her heels and looked at her girlfriend. Olivia let her fingers run up and down Alex's thigh muscle and for only a moment, Alex let herself revel in the contact before pushing Olivia's hands off of her.

"You need to learn to keep these to yourself." Alex said, as she took Olivia's hands and held them together in front of her. Alex gently leaned over her and placed a light kiss on Olivia's lips and then pulled at the bottom of Olivia's shirt, yanking it over her head. Taking Olivia's hands, she placed them gently behind the brunette's head and then with a smile, she said, "Stay."

Slowly, Alex pulled herself upright, titillating close to Olivia. Inches from her face, Alex took her time unbuttoning her shirt slowly very aware of Olivia's stare. With deliberate slowness, she intentionally worked on each button, biting her lip slightly as she worked on each button. She could hear Olivia's breath hitch in her chest as the shirt finally fell open.

Olivia tried to lean forward, trying desperately to kiss her. Alex leaned back away from her approach. "Punished." She said, a smile dancing on her lips as she pushed Olivia back into the headboard. Her smile grew as she heard Olivia whimper.

Alex leaned forward, placing a gentle kiss below Olivia's ear before pulling away. Alex leaned back again, looking at Olivia who was licking her lips, her eyes partially closed. Alex gently unzipped the skirt she was wearing, standing next to the bed to let it slide off her hips.

"You match," Olivia said with a smile, noticing the light purple satin that barely covered Alex's most private, and in her opinion, best parts.

"You aren't the only tease, Detective." Alex said as she resumed her position straddling Olivia's hips.

She leaned back on her heels and let her eyes lock with Olivia's beautiful brown orbs, and then, intentionally, she let her eyes slide down Olivia's body. The desire flew through her, as she let her eyes reconnect with Olivia's. She was very aware that her glance was nearly predatory, and she could see the lust swirling in Olivia's eyes as they reconnected. With a finger, Alex traced a light line from Olivia's shoulder down her body, over the sports bra that Olivia wore. She could see Olivia's physical reaction to her—her breathing was faster, her nipples were straining against the fabric of her bra, and her eyes fluttered shut as she tried to hold her hands steady behind her head. Alex let her finger run in circles over the taught muscles of her abdomen, teasingly, while she still tried to hold Olivia's eyes.

Olivia fought to keep her eyes open, focusing on the sensation of Alex's finger on her skin. She longed for so much more; she wanted Alex. She wanted to touch her, to push her backwards and ravish her. But she sat still, watching the blue eyes stare at her as the delicate fingertips danced over her skin. She fought to stay still and behave, but the sensations of Alex's fingers on her were setting her nerve endings on fire.

Alex leaned into Olivia, moving her thigh between Olivia's legs; she smirked as the detective immediately tried to grind against her. Alex grabbed her belt loops and used her leverage to hold Olivia up just enough to make sure there was contact, but not enough to make it satisfying.

Olivia's moan deepened and as Alex moved into her, Olivia's hands flew from behind her head, wrapping around Alex's waist and pulling her tight, grabbing her lips in a rough kiss.

"Detective." Alex warned, taking one of Olivia's hands into each of hers and holding them to the bed. "I know you're not that slow of a learner."

"Alex, I want…" Olivia started, her voice laced with desire.

"No, no, no." Alex said. "Punished," she whispered into Olivia's ear as she kissed her way down Olivia's neck. Finally, letting go of Olivia's hand with a warning glance, Alex slid her hand up Olivia's body to cup her breast. "Can I take this off?" Alex whispered as she slid her finger under the elastic bottom of the sports bra.

Olivia had a hard time finding words. Nodding desperately, she took a deep breath of relief as Alex pulled the bra over her head and replaced her hands on Olivia's breast. Olivia let her head fall backwards, thankful the headboard was there to hold it up. Her eyes closed involuntarily as she focused on the sensations Alex was causing. Every movement, every touch was shooting directly to her core. She tried desperately to grind against Alex's thigh, but every attempt was foiled as Alex moved away. Her jeans were getting increasingly uncomfortable, every movement multiplied by ten as they rubbed against her in the right spot but just not enough.

She tried not to focus on the ache between her legs when she felt Alex suck hard on one nipple while she pinched the other. Olivia nearly screamed, her whole body jumping with pleasure she didn't expect. Alex's gentle touches had been driving her crazy and the sudden contact brought her alive.

Alex's hands fumbled with her belt, and in seconds, Olivia's jeans were slipping down her long legs. Alex could smell Olivia's arousal, and carefully planted tiny kisses across the top of her panty line. With a smile, Alex quickly pressed her finger against Olivia, sliding inside her and just as quickly pulled back out.

Olivia's whole body slid down the headboard as she let out a groan. "Please Alex," She whined.

"You want a little consideration?" Alex asked, kissing her way back up Olivia's body.

"Mmmmm," Olivia moaned as Alex cupped her sex and pressed into it a few times, before letting go and trailing her hand back up Olivia's body, causing another strangled cry to come from Olivia's throat.

Alex placed gentle kisses on Olivia's collarbone, running her fingers down Olivia's arms, and folding her hands back behind her head. "Will you be good?" Alex murmured.

"Uh, uh huh," Olivia gasped.

"What?" Alex asked.

"Y-Yes, Alex," Olivia breathed.

Olivia's body arched as Alex slid back down it, gently stripping the last obstacle from Olivia's body.

Laying between her legs, Alex let her head rest against Olivia's knee as she stared into Olivia's eyes. The detective stared back down at her. Alex smiled at her, as she placed gentle kisses high on the insides of Olivia's thighs. Alex felt Olivia's legs opening wider, begging her without words to move forward, but Alex studied Olivia as she proceeded; reading her. Each movement was a sign: the way her back arched as Alex got closer to where she wanted; the sound she made when Alex hit exactly the right spot; the look of concentration on her face as Alex swirled over her.

Olivia was trying to breathe as Alex took her right to the edge and then stopped, moving away from where she most needed her. The evil laugh at her frustrated groan only turned her on more, which she had honestly thought wasn't possible. She wanted to move her hand—lace it in Alex's blonde hair and hold her head right where she needed it to be. She knew if she did it though, she would be forced to teeter on the edge longer. Instead, she tried to push her body into Alex—which was immediately foiled as Alex wrapped her arms around Olivia's hips to keep her still.

Alex brought her close to the edge again; a steady rhythm interrupted with a light kiss to the edge of her inner thigh caused Liv to cry out.

"That's what I felt like all day," Alex said seductively, licking slowly over Olivia's center, watching as Olivia's breath caught in her chest. "How does it feel?" She asked as she caught Olivia's eye.

"Uh," Olivia gasped.

"Sorry?" Alex said, as she sucked Olivia's clit hard, smiling when again, Olivia failed to respond and instead gasped loudly.

"God, Alex, please," Olivia managed.

"Do you want something?" Alex asked, this time flicking her tongue from side to side as Olivia tried to answer.

"Don't stop!" Olivia answered.

"Don't stop what?" Alex teased. "This?" She asked, as she found the rhythm she knew would drive Olivia crazy.

"Yeah, that," she panted. "God," she struggled, as her back arched and her head fell back into the bed. Alex, sensing how close Olivia was, managed to slide her fingers inside her detective. In seconds, she could feel Olivia's body clenching down around her fingers, as Olivia's thigh's tightened around her. Alex held on, slowing as Olivia's body collapsed into the bed. Instead of crawling back up Olivia's olive toned body to cuddle into her; Alex looked up mischievously.

"Did I ever tell you why I became a lesbian?" Alex asked.

"The multiple orgasms," Olivia answered, a joke they had shared multiple times between them. She gasped, however, when she felt Alex's tongue slide back over her, her body immediately tensing down as her body reacted to Alex's touch. Almost embarrassed at how quick Alex was able to bring her body into a second, and then third orgasm, she fell back into the bed exhausted. With a final kiss, Alex slid up, kissing a trail up her body finally meeting her lips and giving her a deep kiss.

"Did you learn your lesson?" Alex said with a playful grin.

"Uh huh." Olivia managed, as she stared into the blue eyes that had tortured her to this exquisite level of pleasure.

"What do you have to say?"

"I'm sorry, Alex." She panted.

"That's better." Alex said, knowing she had gotten her point across.

Olivia smiled as she fought to catch her breath. How was it that she continued to get herself into these situations over and over again? With this beautiful blonde next to her teaching her a lesson?

Oh yeah.

She was really smart.


	3. Call Me

Olivia stood anxiously by the sliding doors of the hotel, watching impatiently for Elliot to appear. A weekend with him bonding over a course on domestic violence wasn't her idea of the best weekend ever. He had been in a foul mood for most of it. Only a day before they were scheduled to leave, Kathy had told him the kids were off to Grandma's for the weekend and that she had plans for him. What had theoretically had been their weekend off with their significant other's had turned into a weekend with each other. He had not let her forget that he could have been at home, alone, with his wife for the first time in months. She didn't remind him that she too could be at home, alone, with her gorgeous blonde girlfriend, but she didn't want to invite his commentary, which he would have been only too happy to provide. She bounced from foot to foot as she stared down the hallway in front of her, as she cradled the phone to her ear listening to Alex rattle off a list of instructions.

"Did you turn the ringer off on your phone?"

"Yeah, Alex, but I don't get what…"

"Tell Elliot your phone died."

"Why?" Olivia asked.

Ignoring her question, Alex continued. "And you're wearing those khaki pants? The ones I bought you?"

"Yeah, Alex, but…"

"Just put the phone in your pocket." Alex commanded. "Don't turn it off." Alex said, giving her last minute instructions in her ear.

"Okay," Olivia said, her nervousness causing a blush to come to her cheeks. "He'll be down here any second."

"Okay," Alex cooed in her ear. "Have a great trip home."

"Love you," Olivia said, listening with contentment as Alex returned the sentiment and then disconnecting the line between them, she slid the phone deep into her front pants pocket.

In mere moments, she caught sight of Elliot and waved him over to her. "It's about time," she complained.

"You didn't want me to come down without my face on, did you?" He asked with a smug smile.

"I want to get back." Olivia said, ignoring him.

"Calm down, Cupid. I'll get you back in plenty of time."

"Cupid?" She asked with a frown.

"Would you prefer perpetually horny?" He asked, as he ducked from the slap that she aimed for his head.

"You know, I never do this to you." She said crossing her arms.

"What, tell the truth?" He asked.

"No, mock you relentlessly." She frowned putting her bag into the back of the car.

"There's nothing to mock. I'm married." He shrugged.

"Married, not celibate." She reminded.

"I thought they were synonyms." He smiled.

"You have, what, twenty kids now, El? You can't be doing that bad." She said with a smirk.

"Nothing like before I was married." He says, raising his eyebrow at her. "Face it Liv, I'm going to have to live vicariously through you."

"I hate you," Olivia said, staring at him.

"Ah, please." He said, with a smile.

Sliding into the front seat of the car, she looked at Elliot as he slid into the driver's side. "Oh, El. Um, my phone died. So, you mind calling the Captain and telling him if he needs us to call yours?"

"Oh, I have my car charger right here, Liv. You can just hook it up…" Elliot offered.

"I, um, don't have it. It's in my bag." She offered with a quick smile.

"Uh, okay," he said, picking up his phone and making the quick call, looking at her with a strange face. He couldn't remember a time in the last ten years that she hadn't had her phone on her.

Staring out the window, Olivia fantasized about what was waiting for her at home. She knew she would beat Alex home—she would cook dinner for the two of them. Hopefully, Alex would manage to make it out of the office on time, and in a few hours, the two of them could be together, holding hands, sharing a meal, and then, hopefully, if things went right, sharing much more.

It was all Olivia could do not to yelp the first time the phone vibrated deep in her pocket. It took a good portion of her energy to not moan as the phone continued to ring. She put her finger into her mouth and bit down while she focused on the sensation of the phone dancing against her sex.

Elliot looked over at Olivia with curiosity. "Are you okay?" He asked her.

"Mmmm." She answered.

"Liv?" He asked again.

"Oh, yeah, sorry," Olivia said, with relief as the phone suddenly stopped ringing letting her focus again. So that was Alex's plan—to tease her the whole way home. As the phone started to ring again, she suddenly worried if he could hear the sound of the vibrations issuing from her pants. As if on cue, Elliot turned his head.

"Do you hear something?" He asked.

"Uh, no." She said. "Your imagination," She managed, sounding almost normal, as she leaned over and turned on the radio. Turning the station dial quickly and pumping the volume up, Elliot looked at her like she was insane.

"Makes the time go faster," She said, as she pointed to the radio, trying not to let anything show on her face.

Her eyes widened again as the phone rang again, the pockets were deliciously deep, and she realized that was all part of Alex's plan. She shifted in her seat, changing the angle and almost gasped at the sensation. The phone continued to ring, stopping and starting in a random pattern that she knew Alex controlled. Olivia ran her fingers though her hair, putting her finger back into her mouth and biting down.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Elliot asked again, staring at her out of the corner of his eye. "You look like you're in pain."

"Uh, no," she nearly moaned.

"Uh, okay." He said, still watching her, but leaning back into the seat and staring straight ahead.

"Hey, El, I've gotta…go," Olivia nearly gasped as she pointed to a gas station up ahead. He looked at her and frowned.

"I told you to go before we left the hotel." He said.

She shot him an evil glare and without another word, he pulled the car over. He watched as she jumped out of the car and nearly ran away, pulling her cell phone out of her pocket. He shook his head, doing a double take as she produced the cell phone; the same phone that he told her was dead.

"Jesus Alex, my phone is going to need a new battery." Olivia gasped as she took a deep breath leaning hard against the bathroom wall.

"What's wrong sweetheart?" Alex's innocence only inflamed her more.

"You've been calling me non-stop for the last ten minutes." Olivia accused.

"I have?" She asked.

"Alex," She warned.

"Complaining?" Alex asked.

"I think Elliot knows."

"How, Baby? You having trouble concentrating?" Alex giggled.

"You're cruel." Olivia said, straightening her back, and sticking her head out the door, looking around the corner to see Elliot sliding back into the car.

"Awww," Alex said, laughter in her voice. "Poor baby."

Olivia thought for a second, looking through the window at Elliot sitting in the front seat of the car. "I've got to go." She said ignoring Alex's mocking.

"Okay, sweetheart."

"Oh, and Alex?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah?"

"Call me again before we get to New York." Olivia said with a smile slipping the phone back into her front pocket.


	4. One Kiss

Alex leaned against the door to her office, staring suspiciously at Olivia who was smiling at her with a guilty grin. Alex narrowed her eyes at Olivia, seeing the mischief that was lit in them. "What are you doing?" Alex asked, as the detective slowly started to approach her. She took a step to her left as Olivia circled her, the grin on her face growing as the sparkle in her eyes shined bright.

"I'm just trying to kiss you," Olivia said, a small pout on her face, trying to hide the grin that was corrupting her features. She had much more on her mind—she knew that Alex couldn't resist her.

Alex looked at Olivia and then down at her watch as she continued to step away. "I have to be in court in thirty minutes."

"I just want one little kiss." Olivia said with a smile reaching out with her hand. Alex looked at it suspiciously, looking between Olivia's hand and her eyes with a wary glance.

With perfect instincts, Olivia sensed Alex's momentary hesitation. She leaned in and gave Alex a gentle kiss on the lips. Alex responded immediately, closing her mouth and pulling her head back like she was on fire. "There." She said, "You got your kiss."

Olivia frowned at her again, throwing herself into the couch. "You cheated. That wasn't a real kiss."

"Sure it was," Alex laughed, walking towards Olivia pulling her up off the couch and preparing to push her out of the office door.

"Alex," Olivia whined.

"Olivia," Alex whined back. "Court. Twenty nine minutes." She said, pointing to the watch.

"But it's just a little kiss."

"You know that's not what happens."

"What do you mean?" Olivia asked, with a hurt expression.

"Because I can't just kiss you once and then I end up in court distracted." Alex said.

"Are you saying you're weak?" Olivia baited.

"No," Alex said slowly. "I'm saying I don't trust you." She said with a smirk to which Olivia frowned.

"What if I promise to leave you fully satisfied?"

"Funny." Alex said, turning her back to Olivia putting files into her briefcase.

"What's funny about it?"

"You make me sound so easy." Alex said, looking over her shoulder at Olivia's grin.

"But baby, you are easy." Olivia giggled, causing Alex to spin around.

"I am not." Olivia cocked her head sideways and smiled. Alex sighed and amended her statement, "Olay, maybe I am, but only with you."

"It's okay Al," Olivia said with a smile, "I know I'm irresistible."

"Definitely," Alex laughed.

"So I can my kiss?" Olivia begged.

Alex looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "One," Alex warned, with a stern look that was laced with a smile.

With a smile, Olivia took her chance. Leaning forward, she let their lips touch. Olivia smirked as she watched Alex's eyes flicker for a second and then close before she gently opened her mouth. Olivia gently put her hands on Alex's hips, and pulled her closer while they continued the kiss, Alex moaned into her mouth and Olivia knew that she had her girlfriend just where she wanted her.

Pulling back, she smiled, and moved away, leaving Alex unsupported. Olivia watched her, as her eyes stayed closed for a minute, before she took another step forward and wrapped her hands around Olivia's waist.

"I thought you said one," Olivia said quietly.

"Shut up," Alex said as she kissed Olivia again deeply. One kiss slowly became two, and two three as Olivia deftly managed to slide her hands up Alex's body, deftly unbuttoning her jacket and sliding her hands underneath it. Alex moaned and Olivia stepped into her, pushing her backwards and in mere seconds she had the attorney on her desk. Putting a hand under Alex's knee, she pulled Alex to the edge of the desk where she was able to press against her with her thigh. Alex's moan was the reward as Olivia started to kiss a line down her neck. With quick movements, she pulled on Alex's shirt, sliding her fingers up the lithe body, finding her breasts and cupping them gently. Alex's hands wrapped into Olivia's hair and she moaned desperately. Olivia wormed her fingers into Alex's skirt, and smiled in satisfaction as Alex bit down hard on her shoulder to keep from screaming as Olivia managed to slide a finger over her.

"God, yes," Alex moaned, forcing her hips forward onto Olivia's hand. With skilled fingers, Olivia held her on the edge, letting her stay there until she suddenly forced her over the edge with a quick series of strokes.

"Liv," Alex gasped, as she let her head fall against Olivia's shoulder.

"What?" Olivia asked, slightly amused.

"How do you do that to me?" Alex asked, pulling herself off the desk.

"I'm good." Olivia grinned.

"Yes you are." Alex answered, taking a deep breath. Looking down at her watch, she sighed. "Shit, I've got to go," Alex frowned, "Court in, nine minutes."

Olivia smiled as Alex slid off the desk, and looked at herself in the mirror, re-tucking her shirt and jacket, "Hey Alex?"

"Hmm," She asked, turning to look at Olivia quickly.

"Just one kiss?"


	5. Inspiration

Alex leaned hard against the wall to the elevator—happy to be only a few seconds from home. Only a few seconds from Olivia, cuddled together on the couch, holding each other tight. She had even managed to slip out of the office early for the first time in weeks. Olivia had sounded so disappointed when she had called and said she would be late—again. She had done everything she could to race through what she absolutely had to get done, and decided to leave the rest of it until the next day, or except for what she absolutely had to bring home with her. With every block she had gotten closer to their apartment, her briefcase had gotten heavier and she regretted more and more that she hadn't left the whole thing behind.

Shuffling her briefcase from her right hand to her left, she fished her key out of her pocket, and managed to flip the lock without dropping everything onto the floor. Stepping inside, she expected to find Liv, most likely fast asleep on the couch but she was surprised to hear her own voice coming from the TV. It was a video they had made when they were on vacation—mostly silly shots of the two of them from a camera she had gotten for Olivia for the vacation. Actually, they were mostly shots of her, telling Olivia to turn the damn camera off… Halfway through the first day, she seriously regretted the purchase, but it had made Olivia happy, so she just grinned as Olivia tried to become an amateur director.

The screen was filled with the two of them dancing and she smiled at the memory. Olivia had set the camera on the dresser in their hotel room while they spun each other around giggling. She watched as Olivia's hands sunk lower on her waist and as she was pulled closer into Olivia's arms. She remembered the feeling, her head on Olivia's shoulder while Olivia whispered sweet things in her ear. She couldn't see it, but she remembered the shiver that had run through her the first time Olivia's lips had danced on her neck. She also remembered what happened next, an indiscretion she would much rather forget than see live and in person. Their own personal sex-capade captured for eternity. Olivia had promised, sworn that she had erased this tape.

Without speaking, she walked through the room, surprised that Olivia, usually so alert seemed so oblivious to her presence. She heard a sound coming from Olivia—a sound she recognized but seemed so out of context that she couldn't quite place it. Instead, her eyes stayed on the screen, watching as the two of them fell backwards onto the bed, Olivia crawling on her and kissing her. She turned the corner of the couch and saw why Olivia hadn't noticed her. Olivia's eyes were closed, her head thrown back on the couch, her hand was lost into the waistband of her pants. She heard the tiny moan—the sound now in context immediately caused her heart to beat faster.

Alex felt her whole body responding as her eyes flew between Olivia on the couch, lost in her own pleasure, and the two of them, continuing to kiss on screen. Finally, steadying herself, she leaned against the end of the sofa. Even annoyed that the tape existed, the way her girlfriend was using it was definitely a turn on. "Having fun?" She asked quietly.

Olivia's eyes opened and her whole body jumped; the hand that had been hidden below the waist band of her boxers suddenly appeared as she tried desperately to sit up straight and pretend that nothing had been happening. "I thought you were going to be home late." She said, gasping as her whole body started to blush. "You said," Olivia stammered, "you were going to be late."

"I got done early." Alex said, the bemused smile not leaving her face as she shifted her eyes back to the TV. The screen showing the two of them still on the bed, Alex was fumbling desperately to pull off Olivia's shirt, running her hands over the detective's lean torso. Alex heard herself tell Olivia to turn off the camera, but as Olivia's tongue found its way to her breast, her mind had cleared of all rational thought and her body had simply responded as the film continued to roll.

"I, uh, I…" Olivia stuttered, her face turning redder, as Alex's moan came clearly from the TV.

"Oh, please don't stop because of me." Alex said, slipping off her jacket, and sitting on the edge of the couch.

"Huh?" Olivia managed barely, the glow of the TV reflecting off her face as she looked at Alex.

"Go ahead," Alex whispered, looking at the TV, watching the two of them on the screen engaged in a deep kiss, grinding their bodies into each other.

"You want me to?" Olivia said, looking at her with wide eyes.

Alex just nodded.

Olivia debated internally. This wasn't something she ever thought she would do—or be caught doing. But this tape—this accidental tape was her downfall. She had only kept it because she thought it was so beautiful—the two of them together. Beautiful and hot as hell. She had only watched it maybe twice, both times when Alex was out of town and absolutely not available. But today, today had been a hell of a day. She had been thinking x-rated thoughts about Alex all day—she was pretty sure that even the air around her should carry an adult's only warning. She couldn't think of anything else but Alex. She had no idea what was wrong with her—not that she was complaining. At the end of the day when she ran home to ravage the beautiful blonde, Alex had called her to tell her that she wouldn't be home for hours.

It was a desperate situation and desperate situations called for desperate measures.

She could feel the blush on her face; the embarrassment was coursing through her as she thought about Alex watching her. But Alex, those blue eyes, were staring at her, and the arousal in them was evident. Alex's tongue ran over her lips and Olivia could feel her tongue match her movements. This was the woman she loved and this was a situation that she could use to her advantage. With a half smirk, she stood up and let the boxers drop. Leaning back into the couch, Olivia watched as Alex tried to keep her expression neutral—a fight she was losing as she desperately let her eyes wander over Olivia's body.

Olivia held Alex's eyes—staring at her, until she started to slide her hands back down her own body, running them gently over her breasts, biting her tongue as she let her head fall back. Slowly, ever so slowly, Olivia reached down and started to rub her fingers against her inner thighs, slowly moving them higher. Alex held her breath as she watched Olivia's fingers trace her sex, running higher until she watched them disappear inside. Olivia's breath came faster, and Alex stared as she watched Olivia's back arch, her neck exposed and so incredibly kissable.

Alex watched her, the beautiful line of her body. The incredible sounds that were coming out of Olivia's mouth mingled with the sounds of their lovemaking on the tape. Alex watched with fascination as Olivia's hips started to thrust forward and Alex smiled. She knew Olivia's body so well now, her hips moving like that, and at the same time, she heard Olivia pant, "So close, Al," the rest of her name getting lost on Olivia's lips as another moan took it away.

Alex finally moved, reaching over and placing a gentle kiss on Olivia's neck. Alex leaned into her, kissing her neck, and putting her hand over Olivia's hand, holding it still, tight to her body. Olivia groaned, her hips bucking up to try to grind against both their hands. Alex held her hand and gently provided only the lightest contact while greedily making contact with Olivia's lips. Olivia's hands were suddenly on her, sliding up her thighs, pulling at her skirt, and she knew she was only seconds away from Olivia being back in charge. Sliding down her body, Alex kissed her inner thighs.

"Would you like to or shall I?" Alex whispered, looking up into her eyes.

"You," Olivia gasped, staring down at her. Alex leaned forward, with gentle kisses to everywhere but where she knew Olivia needed them. She slid her tongue over Olivia—wrapping one of her arms over Olivia's hips, she used the other hand to slide her fingers inside her. She heard the hitch in Olivia's moan—the tell--as she massaged Olivia's body into a rhythm that was sure to bring her bliss.

Alex could feel Olivia's toes curling, and without stopping, smiled as Olivia tried to use her leg to push and hold Alex against her. She had avoided the spot—the exact rhythm that she knew would drive Olivia crazy, but as another frustrated groan came from Olivia's mouth, Alex took pity on her, and without stopping she let the rhythm happen naturally, quick strong strokes with her tongue that caused Olivia's thighs to shake and then clamp down around her.

Panting, Olivia's body fell limp into the couch. Alex kissed her way back up Olivia's body, grabbing hold of her and pulling her close. With Olivia's head resting against her neck, she smiled. Flipping off the TV, ran her fingers through Olivia's hair as her breathing eased, and her eyes closed.

"I thought you erased that." Alex said, gesturing to the TV.

Without opening her eyes, a smile grew across Olivia's face. "I was going to."

"And you didn't because?"

"I thought it was inspirational."

"Since when do you need inspiration," Alex smiled.

"I love you," Olivia cooed into her ear, knowing from her voice that Alex wasn't really mad.

"Nice try," Alex smiled back down at her, kissing her gently on the nose.

"I really love you," Olivia repeated, kissing her neck softly.

"Better," Alex said.

"Really, really love you." Olivia said, her smile growing as she kissed Alex on the lips.

"Really love you too," Alex said, moaning quietly as Olivia continued their kiss. Leaning back and closing her eyes, Olivia hovering above her, she stopped only for a second. Her fingers between their lips, she smiled and whispered, "But you're still erasing the tape," Alex warned, accepting another kiss. "after I watch it," Alex said, and Olivia smiled, knowing her inspiration was safe.


	6. Innocent Enough

Alexandra Cabot was a woman of restraint. She knew, and better yet, had been raised to know what was proper and what was not. All her life, someone had been there to tell her no. There were rules for bright young society girls, and the ones who wanted to be successful followed those rules if they wanted to achieve their dreams. Alex, wanting to make it for herself had added her own rules to those established for her as a child. She did not date in her office. When she did date, she did not do things like have wild sexual encounters in indiscriminate places. Her sex life was confined very discreetly to her bedroom, thank you. Public displays of affection beyond occasional hand holding were inappropriate, and even that occasionally felt oppressive to her. All her life she had found herself bristling when she watched others who felt the need to stand in her periphery and play tonsil hockey and she simply refused to partake in man's baser instincts.

That was why her relationship with Olivia had thrown her. All of a sudden, she felt an undeniable want…no, need, to touch the woman, all the time, everywhere. She wanted to press up against her, and have their tongues laced together, no matter where they were. Of course, they had some restraint, sometimes. But when her little brother had caught her sucking face with Olivia in her childhood bedroom at a family dinner, she knew she was pretty much a lost cause.

Which was why, now, she wasn't surprised to find herself in the precinct, upstairs, in the crib, the room where the officers bunked down after a long case, with Olivia's hands up her shirt, making out like a 15 year old boy.

"We shouldn't be doing this," Alex moaned into Olivia's mouth as her kiss deepened. She wasn't sure why she always said that, as though it would stop her, and surely, if Olivia stopped, she would simply crawl in her lap and whimper until she was finally satisfied.

Olivia let her hands roam up Alex's body, sliding over the smooth skin. She slowly dragged her nails across the smooth flesh and let satisfaction grow inside her as she felt the goosebumps rise on Alex's sensitive skin. Alex moaned and only then did Olivia whisper, "No, we shouldn't," as she continued her exploration hungrily.

"We could get caught," Alex said, her hands raking through Olivia's hair as she pulled Olivia's mouth tighter into her own. Olivia leaned into her, pushing her back against the small bed, her hands running under Alex's skirt positioning her thigh directly between Alex's.

Alex grinded into her hard, whimpering as she leaned her head so Olivia could answer, leaving a trail of hot wet kisses down the base of the detective's neck."We could," Olivia agreed, again. Sliding her fingers up Alex's thighs, she found the black lace that was blocking her path and slid it down Alex's long thin legs.

"Did I ever tell you I love you in black lace?" Olivia whispered deeply in Alex's ear, grabbing the underwear in her hand and putting it by Alex's head.

Alex simply moaned again, this time as Olivia slid a finger inside her. "Feel good, baby?" Olivia whispered. Alex nodded her head, as Olivia skillfully slid her fingers over Alex. Alex bit her lip hard as Olivia slid in and out of her, her body tensing, the intense feelings growing inside her.

"I want to touch you," she whispered in Olivia's ear, and she wasn't surprised when Olivia ignored her. Focusing what little attention she had, she moved her arm in a desperate attempt to reach for the button of Olivia's jeans. Popping it open, she slid her hand down the front of Olivia's pants, thankful her hands were just long enough to reach her intended target.

Both of them faced each other now, both tried to keep their mouths in contact to drown out the intense sounds that would escape without warning, neither being exactly the quiet kind. With a final skillful brush, Olivia was the first to tense, her body rocking with the force of orgasm, while Alex helped her draw out her pleasure. Afterwards, Olivia's focus was solely Alex, as she leaned over the blonde attorney, slithering down her body, running her tongue over Alex's throbbing center. With Olivia inside her, on her, tasting her and touching her, Alex came biting down on her own hand to muffle her cries. The two fell into each other panting in each other's arms.

"God, Liv," Alex managed.

Olivia just smiled at her, pupils wide, as she placed tiny kisses on the side of Alex's face. "Love you," Olivia said.

"You too," Alex said, staring into her eyes.

The knock on the door was entirely unexpected. Alex's first instinct was primal, and with a quick reflex, she pushed Olivia off her and grimaced as she watched Olivia fall backwards off the twin bed and onto the floor.

"Jesus Alex," Olivia complained. "It's locked," she said, gesturing to the door.

"Get up," Alex said, frantically pulling her skirt down, while tucking in her shirt with the same time, "Button your pants," she scolded as Olivia stared up at her baffled. "Get up," she hissed again.

Olivia stood up slowly, trying not to laugh at Alex's obvious panic. "It's okay Al, you look fine."

"You look like you just got fucked, get up," she said, again. Olivia stood and let Alex rake her fingers through her hair.

"You have that magic glow too, sweetheart," Olivia said with a smile.

Alex just glared at her as she pushed Olivia towards the door. Opening it slowly, she looked at Elliot's face. Figured. "What do you want?" She asked him, not even feeling the need to be nice. He looked at her with a questioning glance, wondering what he did to anger her in only a few seconds until he caught site of the blonde behind her.

"You busy?" He asked, a smiling growing across his face.

"No, Elliot. We were just reviewing cases." She said, willing herself not to blush—to look annoyed and bothered by him instead of feeling like her big brother had just busted her.

"Oh, cool," He said, shrugging his shoulders. "Do you guys mind if I crash in here then for awhile? It won't bother me if you're…."

"We're done," Olivia said quickly, grabbing Alex's hand and pulling her out of the room.

"If you're sure," He called out after her.

"We're sure," She called up after him, Alex tripping after her down the stairs.

"Olivia, he knows," Alex whispered in her ear.

"Alex, go, just go," Olivia said, pushing Alex out the door.

"But Olivia, I don't…" Alex said, trying to warn her.

"Go, he doesn't know," she whispered and she watched as a confused and worried Alex wandered out of the squad room.

Sitting at her desk, Olivia let her smile grow. She felt proud of herself, almost. Like a true player, as Fin would say. He would be proud of her. Of course, she would lose a limb if she ever told Fin; she knew Alex would actually murder her, but it was fun to think about.

"Uhh, Olivia?" Elliot asked, sticking his head out of the door to the crib and looking down to her at her desk.

"What Elliot?" She asked, staring up at him.

"Can you come up here for a second?" She sighed, pushing her chair back hard.

"What Elliot?" She asked again, stomping up the stairs.

"There's something up here I think you should see." He said. Her mind wandered, frantically trying to think what it could be. They had been careful. Well, not exactly careful, but they had not been caught.

He smiled at her, a smile that threatened to take over his whole face.

"You and Alex were up here reviewing cases, huh?" He asked.

"Why?" Olivia asked, suspiciously.

"You missing something?" He asked.

Olivia stared at him, her eyes widening as she ran her hands over her pockets. Handcuffs were on her back, her wallet, her keys, her badge—all were accounted for. "Don't think so."

"Alex might be," Elliot laughed.

"Elliot what the hell are you talking about?" She asked.

"Go check it out," He said, pointing to the corner bunk, the one that only minutes before they had been rolling on.

"What?" She asked warily.

"Give me your pen," he said, trying not to laugh.

"Okay," she said, handing it to him.

He walked over to the bed, and in a second, he had a tiny black lace thong dangling from the end of it. "It's too small to be Fin's, it's not Munch's color, and if it's not yours, who do you think this belongs to?" He asked her.

"Uh," Olivia stammered.

Tossing it to her, he smiled. "Call your girlfriend and tell her you found her underwear." Elliot said.

"It's not what it looks like," Olivia stammered.

"Really? Cause I've reviewed cases a lot of times with Cabot and she's never forgotten her underwear when we were done."

"Elliot?" She begged him with her eyes, the words not necessary.

He sighed. "Your secret's safe with me." He said.

She smiled at him and grabbed Alex's underwear off the end of her pen, shoving them into her back pocket. "Thanks," she said. "We'll, we, we'll…"

"I know," He said.

"Okay," She said, turning on her heel and walking away.

"Oh, but Liv?" He said as she turned around.

"You will never live this down," he said with a laugh. And oh God, she already knew.


	7. Heal

Alex kisses my scars when we make love.

At first, her careful examination made me self conscious as she found the marks that I had always tried to hide. Marks on my skin that told stories of a life that I would rather forget. The smallest is a thin line above my eyebrow. My first fight in school. I don't remember much about it, other than the other girl taunting me with the fact that I had no father. At least not one that she could see, or I could name. I'm not sure if I swung out of anger or out of the fear that someone else would hear her accusations. She was bigger than me, stronger than me, and far less afraid. Her elbow slammed into my head, as she held me down. A teacher broke it up; she was pulled off me and both of us were held like puppies by our collars.

It was only a moment, and I wasn't sure what had happened until I took my hand away from my head and saw the red covering my hands. I don't recall the pain as clearly as the surprise, the sudden knowledge that anything can cut, but that nothing had cut as deep as those words. Even teasing can lead to four stitches.

The scar is still there if you know where to look. And she does. Her lips kiss it as she draws her tongue over it, both reviving the memory and healing the wound. I close my eyes and focus on her. I can feel my body melting into the bed below me, my muscles relaxing into it as she teases my body into chaos.

She kisses down the length of my nose, my eyes flutter shut, as she hovers above my lips. She hesitates for a moment as she leans above me, her fingers running down my cheek as she gently lets her mouth press into mine. My fist clenches involuntarily as she flicks her tongue across my lips. I want to grab her and hold her tight to me.

I open my lips for her, begging her silently to deepen her kiss, but she moves on, across my cheek and over to my earlobe before trailing her mouth down the side of my neck. I tilt my head to make it easier for her; her kisses warm and soft. She hums against my collarbone, as she settles into the crook of my neck.

Her teeth gently nip at the skin where my neck meets my shoulder. I move restlessly against the soft blanket, my whole body flexing into her touch. She does not hurry. A smile of warning and the shining blue twinkle in her eye tell me to wait for her. She promises without words that she will be worth it. She kisses me gently, the kisses each feeling like a fire that could burn me. Those kisses fall over me, across my shoulder, swirling over my biceps, tasting the indentation in my elbow.

When she pauses I can't help but whimper. It's so sensitive there. My toes flex, in time to the movement of her lips against my overheated skin. I'm about to beg her to touch me, plead with her, but she moves on, so she can run her tongue along the strip of pale thick skin just beyond the joint. My first injury as a cop. One night, out on the street; it was a stupid mistake. Stopped a gang-banger and tried to talk to him; tried to be his friend. Before I knew was I was seeing, there was a knife that caught my arm and a fifteen year old kid with gang colors flying running from me down the street. I suppose I learned that not everyone is a victim.

They made me go to the hospital and I begged them not to put in stitches, even though they should have. That night, alone in my apartment, I poured hydrogen peroxide in the wound and winced as it bubbled and stung. It was clean and I was clean, at least for now.

The fingers of her right hand trail along my side, tracing along my rib cage before sliding into the dip between my leg and abdomen. She is so close to really touching me, the way I so desperately want her to touch me. A whimper escapes my mouth and I don't try to contain it. I hold my breath, waiting for her to take advantage of her closeness. But, after a tantalizing moment she moves on, ever so slowly, to the front of my knee. Her mouth continues to caress me, connecting the dots, elbow to knee, scar to scar, pleasure to pleasure. I don't scream yet—but if she doesn't touch me, I might.

She finds the scar on my ankle, the one I don't like to talk about. My mother grabbed me, pulling me to my room as she screamed. She was drunk, so incredibly drunk. She walked into the apartment when I least expected her to find me and my best friend, Elizabeth, kissing each other on the couch. She shrieked—I was enough of a disappointment to her. I had to be gay too? I tried to tell her, tried so hard to explain. I ran from her, tripping over my own feet and as I fell I could hear the crack as my ankle broke.

My first thought lying there was that I'd never finish the basketball season . That I'd let down the team and more importantly my hero, my coach, who actually took an interest in me. In the ER they told my mother that they'd have to perform surgery—she smiled and told them how clumsy I was . I remember telling her how much she loved me, and I watched her with confusion in my heart but acceptance in my eyes. This is how we were.

The scar is small now, barely there, but she knows just where it is and where it came from. It still twinges from time to time, when the weather gets cold and when it's about to rain. Some wounds never heal, and this is mine.

She pays special attention to it, her tongue running over it, with small kisses, her fingers run over me the way she'll stroke me somewhere else soon enough. My breaths are in gasps, my hips in motion. Her fingers move slowly up, around the slight bulge of my quads before trailing farther up along my thigh, up and up and up.

A low groan escapes my lips as she traces the contour of my hip bone. Her lips meet her fingers a few inches above my navel. She rests her chin on my belly for a moment so she can meet my eyes.

"I love you," she says with a whisper.

"Love you too," I murmur. The surge in my pelvis is involuntary and her breath teases my skin. She grins.

I always wonder if I came out wrong. Defective. Incomplete. Flawed. On the bad days, I think of my mother and the pain in her eyes that flashed when she saw me. Sometimes I remember the things she said and wish they could cut the part out of me that needs Alex: the part that needs her mouth, her hands, her love. Cut her out of me and reconnect the pieces and make me a straight girl, like my mom always wanted. Not the bastard child who reminded her every day of the worst moment of her life.

But if I hadn't come out this way, the mix of flawed genes and troublesome childhood, would I truly appreciate this? Would I know what I have if it wasn't for the reminders that lie on my skin?

Her fingers leave their teasing touch on my stomach and travel south. My breaths are short and sharp as she finds my wetness and draws the moisture up with her finger. Gradually, her lips follow the same path, until the warm puffs of her breath cascade over me in counterpoint to the teasing motion of her delicate hand.

As she takes me into her mouth and enters me tenderly; I forget that I am broken. On the good days, I know I was made exactly as I was meant to be. On the good days, she unifies my body with her fingers, lips, words.

On the good days, I am whole with her, and that is all I need.


	8. The Intro

There were times that Alexandra Cabot rejoiced in every part of her relationship with Olivia Benson. She loved waking up next to a warm body that was soft in all the right places. She loved the scent of Olivia on her pillows and in the air. When Olivia wasn't there, Alex would wear her clothes just for that scent, because it made her feel safe. She loved having another person at the dinner table with her, holding her hand, while she recounted the hell that could be the DA's office. The fact that Olivia would smile that loving smile across from her made everything seem so much better.

And then there were the days that she would give anything to live alone, with nothing to worry about besides herself and maybe a cat. Those were the days Olivia left her underwear on the bathroom floor, or when she put an empty milk carton back into the refrigerator. Today was one of those days. As Alex walked slowly through the garage and saw Olivia's car parked in its usual space, she considered the benefits of cat ownership.

Olivia was home.

Alex sighed as she looked at the car. Olivia had stormed out the night before, angry and silent, her usual deadly cocktail. In turn, Alex had spent the rest of the night with a mixture of confusion and worry. The confusion lay in that Olivia had never exactly said what had made her so angry. The worry in the fact that like always, Olivia had breathed not a word about where she was going. She trusted Olivia could keep herself safe, but she hated the idea of her being alone and upset out in the city.

So instead of getting a good night sleep like she wanted, she sat up most of the night, wondering and worrying about Olivia, which made her angry because she knew Olivia knew she was worrying. When she called Olivia's phone, it went to voicemail, and in the morning when she dialed the precinct an awkward Elliot mumbled something about how she had just walked out and hung up. By the end of the day, Alex was simply self righteous with fury and was in no mood to deal with another night tiptoeing around Olivia's mood swings.

For a moment, Alex paused, actually considering just getting back into her car and going back to her office. She could pull an all-nighter, she had before, and it would be a chance for Olivia to be the one to worry for once. Poetic justice that Olivia would finally feel the same as Alex had felt the night before. But no, she was not going to act like a petulant child even if her partner insisted on it. Instead, Alex gathered herself and walked towards the door to their apartment.

When Alex opened the door, Olivia's scent assaulted her, the warm scent that still made her heart race and flip flop in her chest. With a deep breath, Alex looked around and didn't see Olivia in the living room. After a second of concentration, she could hear the shower running, and then the sound of it turning off. Her first instinct was to run into the bathroom like maniac and demand an explanation. Besides, she had a feeling that the fight that would ensue was exactly what Olivia wanted. Instead, she kicked off her shoes and threw herself into a chair, picking up a novel that she had been reading and settled in to wait for Olivia to approach her.

Olivia walked into the living room wrapped in nothing but a towel, looking at Alex, and not stopping as she walked to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water. "I didn't hear you come in," she said, over her shoulder, as she sucked on the bottle.

Alex kept her head down and tried not to notice the way the water fell from the tips of Olivia's hair. The way her skin shined, or how toned her legs were. She hated that just one look at Olivia made her melt inside. Alex took a deep breath, and even though she felt the undeniable desire to push Olivia against the wall, rip the towel from her body and ravage her, she was still mad that Olivia had walked out the night before.

"I didn't think you cared," Alex said, flicking her eyes over to Olivia to gauge the reaction.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Olivia shot back, darkness clouding her features immediately as she raised her defenses preparing for the fight she had expected.

"You are the one who took off. Why didn't you answer my calls today?" Alex asked. She hated the way her voice sounded—needy and whiny, like a child. But Olivia had really hurt her—the first time she had gone and stayed away the whole night.

"I was angry," Olivia said, her eyes losing some of the fight and fire they had only moments before. "You really hurt me last night."

Alex stopped to consider the previous night. She had dragged Olivia to her family's annual Thanksgiving celebration. Her mother played host to Cabot's from all over the world and Alex had finally thought it was time to take Olivia home to meet her family, even thought Olivia had protested more than once.

"What did I do?" Alex asked, genuinely baffled

Alex, all things considered, had thought the evening had gone quite well. There had been no long speeches about stock futures. There hadn't been a political debate—those could get bloody. Her family knew before she went that she was gay, that announcement made at another Cabot family shindig would have been the one to miss as her relatives took sides on whether she was or was not going to hell. But everyone had been very accepting last night. Even her father, who had cried real tears when she had told him she was gay, seemed to genuinely be taken by Olivia's smile and charm.

Olivia had been quiet but Alex couldn't say she would have been any different if she had been meeting Olivia's mother. It wasn't until they were driving back from her mother's home upstate that Alex had realized that she was being given the silent treatment. When she had asked what the problem was, that was when Olivia had slammed the door and disappeared into the night.

"There were what? Twenty people there, Alex. And you never once introduced me as anything other than your friend. Even to your mom, Alex."

Alex closed the book in her lap and put it aside, looking at Olivia but trying to avoid the accusation in her eyes. Alex had thought that bringing her to the family gathering at all would tell her how much she had meant, but one look into Olivia's stormy black eyes and she could see she was horribly wrong.

"So, what did you want me to call you?" Alex asked, torn between frustration and anger. If Olivia had wanted to be announced, why hadn't she just said something?

Olivia stormed over to her, standing directly in front of her, the water still dripping from her hair, the towel become looser as she walked. Alex gulped as she saw more of Olivia's tantalizing naked skin that was on display in front of her. "I don't know, Alex. Anything was better than, 'This is my friend, Olivia.'"

Alex could hear the fight in her voice, and she wasn't going to bite. Standing up, she pushed Olivia out of her way. "You're being ridiculous."

"Oh, whoa, we're not done here," Olivia said, grabbing her arm and pushing her back into the couch. Alex's eyes opened wide as her brain processed what was happening.

"Knock it off, Liv. I'm tired and I need a shower." Alex responded, not liking the nasty little smirk that was on Olivia's face.

In a second, Olivia was on her knees, spreading Alex's thighs apart. "What you need, Alexandra, is to learn some manners.

Before Alex could protest, she could feel Olivia's fingers wandering up her thigh under her skirt. A wave of heat flew through her, settling low in her stomach, as the woman she found so amazingly attractive ran her hands over Alex's soft skin. Alex could hear herself groan and even though she didn't want to give into temptation, she could feel the arousal beginning to pool between her legs. Olivia knew she had Alex just where she wanted her and it was all she could do not to laugh as Alex thigh's fell open to give her better access.

"You're so god damn sexy," Olivia whispered, enjoying the blush that came to Alex's face. Olivia let her fingers wander along the elastic band of Alex's underwear. "You wet?" Olivia whispered.

"Why don't you find out?" Alex challenged, gasping as Olivia slid a finger inside her.

"Yeah, wet." She smiled, her finger slowly gliding inside Alex. "I love how wet you get."

Alex moaned as she felt Olivia push her skirt higher as she twisted her finger inside the blonde splayed in front of her. Alex let her head fall back, let it hit the back of the couch as she bit her lip and pushed her body down for more contact, but, as suddenly as it had come the finger was gone.

"Please, Liv, don't stop," Alex whined, not caring that there was desperation in her voice. "Touch me, Olivia?"

Alex watched as Olivia sat back on her knees with her eyebrow arched. Even though she was splayed in front of Alex in a pose of submission, both of the women were fully aware of who was in charge of what was unfolding in front of them. "Touch me what?"

"Please?" Alex whined.

Olivia laughed in spite of herself. "No, you said touch me, Olivia. What else could you call me?"

Alex grinned at the game. She was going to have to work for this. She pouted her lips and made sure she had Olivia's eyes, before she whispered, "Touch me, baby."

Olivia considered it, and then nodded. "Better," she said, as she slid the finger back inside Alex. Now it was Alex's turn to smile. She could tell by Olivia's eyes how turned on she was, even if she wanted to pretend she wasn't. Alex arched her hips, forcing Olivia's finger deeper inside her, and as Alex started to build her own perfect rhythm, Olivia pulled her finger back. Alex groaned in frustration, her whole body tensing searching for something to clamp down on.

"Take off your skirt." Olivia said, watching as an eager Alex popped up off the couch and pulled at her skirt and underwear. "Ah, ah," Olivia said, "just the skirt."

Alex stared at her for a second, and then complied, dropping the skirt and resuming her position. She watched as Olivia leaned forward and inhaled her scent, almost, but not quite touching her.

"You smell good," Olivia smiled. "What do you want?"

"Touch me," Alex pleaded.

"Touch me…." Olivia prompted.

Alex reached down and pulled the towel from around Olivia's body, freeing her breasts which Alex looked upon hungrily. "Touch me, sweetheart," Alex whimpered.

Olivia leaned in and nuzzled her, still through the fabric covering her. Alex groaned, tangling her fingers in Olivia's hair desperate to pull her close. When Alex tried to push harder against her face, Olivia again moved away.

Alex looked at Olivia's face, seeing the question forming there. "Are you ashamed of me?" Olivia asked, a smile on her face but her eyes showed all the vulnerability she was feeling.

"Of course not, Liv, baby. I love you." Alex said, reaching down and putting her hands on either sides of Olivia's face, giving her a deep kiss.

"So next time I meet your family, you'll introduce me properly?" Olivia asked, pushing Alex backwards into the couch, as a finger ran over Alex's throbbing center.

Alex just nodded. She wanted Olivia. Needed her. "Uh huh."

"That a yes?" Olivia smiled.

"Yes, I promise."

Alex gulped as she watched Olivia slide her panties down her legs and toss them over her shoulder. Alex watched them land in a purple pile before running her tongue over her lips and staring back down into Olivia's eyes.

"How will you introduce me?" Olivia asked.

"I'll think of something. Please, Liv, stop teasing me." Alex begged.

Olivia very gently slid her tongue over Alex's clit before sitting back on her legs. "What will you say?" Olivia asked.

"Whatever you want."

Olivia shook her head at Alex, "No, tell me, I want to hear it."

"Touch me," Alex begged, "Lick me."

"Introduce me."

"Fine," Alex groaned, "This is my girlfriend, Olivia. Happy?"

Olivia frowned. "That's better but is that the best you can do?" She asked.

Alex's head was swimming. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt this turned on. She was almost afraid that when she got up, there'd be a spot on the couch, but at the same time, she didn't care. "My significant other."

Olivia let her finger slide against Alex's opening. "That's kind of cold. Very Gloria Steinem of you, don't you think?"

Alex squirmed, trying to suck Olivia's finger inside her. Olivia let her finger sink in a little deeper.

"My roommate," Alex gasped.

The finger disappeared in a second. Olivia frowned at her. "That's worse than friend."

Alex moaned. "My lover," she said, her brain frantically searching for words that would please her.

Olivia smiled. "That's nice, that's very brave. I can almost see your mom's face when you say that." She said, as she slid two fingers back inside Alex, rewarding her.

"Please, baby, more," Alex moaned.

Olivia lowered her head so she was impossibly close, but not touching. Alex leaned back. She could feel Olivia's warm breath against her. She was so damn close.

"Come on, Liv, please don't tease me." Alex groaned in frustration.

"I like lover," Olivia said. "But it's a little blunt. What else do you have?"

Alex shook her head; nothing came to her mind except the need to be touched. The need for Olivia's tongue to run over her, for Olivia's fingers to fill her, for the release that she knew now only Olivia could provide.

"Tell me," Olivia said, sliding her finger just to the right of where she desperately wanted to be touch. "Tell me and I'll make you come…so….hard." She said, making sure that Alex heard every syllable loud and clear.

Alex felt her whole body quiver. She stared into Olivia's face, seeing passion there and something more. Something so tender and honest, it brought tears to her eyes.

"My love," Alex whispered, "This is Olivia, my love."

Alex was rewarded with a brilliant smile, but only for a second before Olivia provided her reward. Filling her, licking her, she held Alex up while she continued her assault, listening to the sound of her own name falling from the blonde's lips as her body tightened in release and then relaxed into an exhausted heap.

Alex smiled down at Olivia, panting. Her face was lit with a deviant smile; one that Olivia could tell immediately was backed up by some kind of scheming plan.

"What?" Olivia asked, as Alex pulled her up onto her lap and kissed her, tasting herself on Olivia's lips. Gathering her damp hair, Alex ran her fingers through it and tilted her eyes back down to look at her. "What would you have done if I called you my "old ball and chain?"

Olivia reached between them and tweaked Alex's already super-sensitive clit, causing her to jump in response. "Why don't you try it and find out?"

Alex smiled and pushed Olivia off her lap, happily leading her to the bedroom, deciding that she didn't really want that cat after all.


	9. In Her Pocket

Every day I love her. I find myself, watching her, staring at her. I am lost in her strength, in her eyes, in her smiles. Every day I love her, and every day, she reminds me that when I wake up beside her, I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

I wake up early, a habit I've had from my law school days when I would get up before day light to get started on whatever lay ahead. She's always asleep when I wake up. For all her charms, she's definitely not a morning person, so this is my chance to see her, quiet, innocent, and vulnerable, before she has time to adjust her mask and turn on the professional mask she uses to shield herself from the world. I watch her—the way her lashes fall against her face, the gentle rise and fall of her breathing, the imagined warmth as she snuggles under the mountains of blankets she piles on top of us in the night.

I know that when she wakes up and walks out the door, she will be a force to be reckoned with—on top of her game, making the world a better and safer place for all of New York, but in these moments, she is mine and mine alone, and I am happy.

Every day I love her. Every day I remind myself how empty my life was without her, and how much I need her, but today, today I will fall in love with her all over again.

It's too early in New York to charitably call it spring, but with a wry smile, I decide to try to force the season by tackling our closet and in the best spirit calling it spring cleaning. I have wanted to empty them out and get rid of the power suits from the eighties, purge the closet of the frilly lace shirt phase she went through a year ago after Elliot called her a boy. She hoards things, clothes I'm sure haven't seen the light of day since she was in high school hang from hangers in the back of her closet, and the floor is covered with "nostalgia," that was come hell or high water going to spend tonight in a Goodwill donation box. I'd nearly finished, surrounded by piles of hers, mine, and ours, when I had finally worked my way to the very end, when I came across her old leather jacket. And when I say old, I mean really old. Not even charitably vintage, it had looked beaten and weathered even the first time I had seen her in it. But my heart melted when I saw it. I had a soft spot for it, remembering how sexy she'd looked the night she showed up on my doorstep ready for our first date with flowers in her hand and that sexy shy smile on her face as she looked intently into the ground with a light blush in her cheeks.

Slowly, I ran my fingers over the stitching, leaning into it and breathing in the faded scent of leather mixed with her soft feminine smell. A smile slid onto my face as I slid the jacket over my shoulders, feeling as though she was hugging me. Sticking my hand into the pockets I realized they were full. Intrigued because she hadn't worn the jacket in what seemed like forever, I pulled out a handful of receipts and ticket stubs and scraps of paper that had been dog eared through age. I tumbled through them with dawning wonder as I sat cross legged on the floor washed away in memories that had fallen hazy in my mind.

I smiled at the crumpled boarding passes from our first vacation together. We had both been so excited—sure that everything was going to be perfect for our first time away from the city. Together a year, it was our first vacation together. With tickets in hand to our own personal tropical getaway, we were sure our week away would be everything ever written in any romantic novel ever penned. Instead, it was a total bust, and the only good thing we ever said about it was that it was over and that we made it back to New York alive.

It rained every day of our seven day magical getaway. Not a slight rain, but a hurricane style gale. Our room, roughly the size of a shoebox, complete with broken air conditioner, added to the package, but even though it poured outside, we managed to make it magical. The best memory was one of those hot, sticky afternoons with the storm clouds rolling into on the horizon, the two of us laying naked on top of the sheets. Lying there with her, it felt like time had stopped. Like there was no one else in the world but us, as her fingers slid down the contours of our body. It was like she was discovering me all over again, every curve, and every hollow, from the back of my knees to the swell of my breasts.

"Did you have this freckle yesterday?" She asked, with a furrowed brow as she leaned into me and sucked it gently.

Even though it surprises me, I hear myself giggle at the utter seriousness of her expression. "I'm sure I did," I reply to her.

"And this one?" She asks, as her lips slide over my skin.

"Yes baby, that one too. I'm pretty sure they're all exactly where they were yesterday. And the day before…" I deadpanned.

"I'm not so sure," She said, "I think I need to count." With a tilt of her head she slid her fingers over my ribcage to the underside of my breast, starting her examination.

"It might take awhile." I laughed.

"I've got my whole life," she said, as her lips once again fell down to grace my skin.

She was right.

I reached for her, framing her face with my hands and brushing her hair off her forehead, running my thumb over her jaw. She kissed the pad of my thumb, and then gently reached down to capture my hand in her own. I looked at our fingers laced together, the warmth and love shining in her dark eyes and knew without question this was the best trip I had ever been on.

I sighed, letting a slight smile spread on my face, as I thought of the hours we spent loving each other that day. I thought about how we'd stayed in bed until the rain stopped and our stomachs growled begging us to crawl out of bed and stumble into the soggy night to find food. With our flushed cheeks and tousled hair, we must have looked like a couple of crazy kids in love. I suppose we were.

And then there was something else. A receipt faded with age bearing a date I'll never forget. We'd been seeing each other for over a month and were completely caught up in each other—in the intensity that accompanies all new things. We'd meet in the evening, for drinks, for dinner, or for coffee, and spend hours talking, touching, telling our stories to each other and getting lost in the minutiae of being together. We'd debate the profound as well as the absurd, and then we'd spend quiet hours trembling with the force passion that burned between us. No matter how late it got, or how tired we were, invariably one of us would be shuffling out the door at four or five in the morning heading for home. Looking back now, I'm not sure how we survived that time, subsisting on a few hours sleep and a few gallons of coffee.

The thing is—even though we'd shared everything—we'd been to hell together and back, we'd never given voice to the emotions we both knew was there. We spoke in generalities, about what a great connection we felt. About what chemistry we shared. But love? Not a word. In the quiet of my heart I knew, but we'd both been burned in the past, and neither of us had entered into this expecting more than casual fun, nothing serious. To admit love would be wondrous, but it would be yet another chance to admit pain and heartache into our lives.

So we were there, together, eating eggs, feasting on toast and jam in the early Manhattan sun, with a fake fire grate lit behind us. But the light held no warmth and the fire did nothing to dispel the chill that still lingered in the air. Our cheerful and happy banter did nothing to hide the sadness that lingered in her eyes.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

She shrugged her shoulder and chased and errant egg around her place. "Just tired, I guess."

"Come on," I coaxed her.

"Generally?" Nothing." She said, her eyes avoiding mine.

"Well, what if we wanted to be technical? What would you tell me then?" I asked, my heart beating in my throat.

She paused, her eyes scanning the horizon before settling on my face. Such a wealth of emotion played in her beautiful dark eyes. They shimmered, while she picked out her words. "I am so in love with you."

The corner of her mouth rose a little and I smiled in return, feeling as though she just given me wings. I opened my mouth to tell her I loved her—to tell her all the things I'd already told her a million times in my mind, when a child's laughter broke out a table away and broke the moment. We laughed a little too, our discovery making us giddy; relief of having braved the words that had been unspoken for so long rang through us both. We finished the coffee and paid the bill, eager to be anywhere we could fold into the new love blossoming between us

As we settled into my car, I looked at her strong profile and reached over to stroke my fingers through her short dark hair. She looked at me, and for a brief moment a shadow flickered through her eyes. My heart ached with what I felt for her. I reached over and wrapped her in my embrace. "You must know how much I love you," I whispered to her, "you must."

I knew that day that what I felt for her would never be equaled. I knew that I could only live my life with her. I knew there was no credible way for me to know that, and I knew that my friends and family would think I was nuts, but only time would prove my heart right, and it has.

I ran my finger over the receipt and set it aside. I continued through the pile: the card attached to the first flowers I'd ever sent to her, thanking her for that day in the diner, telling her I'd never forget. There were directions to my Uncle's cabin in the Adirondacks', where we had spent a week acting like children, floating around in a boat by day and skinny dipping in the moon light.

And here—here was the card the realtor had left in the gift basket by the front door the day we got the keys to our new apartment. I smiled remembering our excitement that day. I don't think two people ever wanted something more than we wanted to be in that apartment. Our apartment. Ours together. We insisted on moving in that very day, sleeping on the floor in sleeping bags with blankets thrown on the ground that you had through to bring. Our furniture, what we had decided to keep would be delivered in the morning, but it was too much for us to not take advantage of our first night in our place.

We sat cross legged on our makeshift bed, eating Chinese out in cardboard cartons and dreaming about our future in this place, while we giggled and poured champagne into beer mugs. As dusk turned to night, she produced a quantity of candles and set them about the floor so we were bathed in the warm glow of their light, and our bedroom, though meagerly furnished, seemed the most beautiful place in the world.

She kissed me then, a gentle kiss filled with the love and tenderness and the promise of a lifetime. She pressed her forehead against mine and said, "You are the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"Likewise," I smiled, and kissed her in return, my pulse quickening at the warm slide of her tongue against mine, the attraction between us not dying out with the passage of time, but instead, intensifying. I could spend hours like that: kissing her exploring her mouth, getting lost in the taste of her, the sensuous feeling of her tongue rhythmically stroking into my mouth, the heady sensation of her body tight against mine.

She slid against me, her body and mine moving together. Our mouths and limbs entwined so that I was on my back on the mattress and she was beside me, braced on one elbow, one hard thigh between my own, her free hand caressing my breast, teasing my nipple through the fabric of my shirt.

She smiled and my heart caught in my throat. Just that simple smile flooded my body with such intense emotions, all the things I felt for her. All the things I knew she felt for me. I watched as her eyes wandered down my body, resting on her hand gently cupping my breast. She swallowed hard before catching my eyes. "I want to see you," She said, her dark eyes glittering in the reflected lights of the candles.

I nodded at her, and licking her lips, she slid her hand beneath the hem of my shirt, drawing it up over my belly, skimming lightly over my ribcage and coming to rest against the underside of my breast. She hesitated for a moment—waiting for me. I arched my back for her and grasped the edges of my shirt where she'd left it, deftly removing it and tossing it aside.

For a moment, cool air teased my nipples only to be replaced by the heat of her breath, and the warm stroke of her tongue. I moaned my pleasure as she suckled my breast, drawing it into the hot moisture of her mouth. My hands were restless curling in the hair at the nape of her neck, exploring the expanse of her shoulder and back through the cotton of her t-shirt as she continued to lavish attention on the first one, then the other breast. It felt like heaven, having her mouth on me like that; but more, it felt like every stroke of her tongue and nip of her teeth was directly connected to my center. The more I felt the pull of her mouth on my breast, the more aroused I became feeling my body open, my hips rising off the mattress to grind against her thigh.

I bit back a whimper of protest when she moved her leg from between mine. I caught her smile in the flickering light, and purred my contentment when I felt her nimble fingers open the front of my jeans and slide inside. She found the hard swell of my clit with practiced ease, circling it with a teasingly light touch, then trailing lower to dip into the wet heat she'd created coating her fingers. She retraced her path then, making my clit a slick hard surface beneath her fingertips. She felt so good like that, with her mouth and hand working me, my mind was reduced to a singular thought:

"More…" I moaned, my hips undulating, frustrated that I couldn't feel her skin against mine, frustrated that with the layers of clothes that still separated me from the contact I craved, "I need…"

She kissed me again, but this time the kiss was filled with the heavy sensuality that vibrated between us. Her tongue filled my mouth stroking deeply and fully against my own. It's rhythm wreaking havoc with my senses—reminding me of nothing so much as the rhythm I wanted to feel her hand driving out inside my body.

She drew back slowly, nipping my lower lip and sucking it into her mouth, then healing the tiny hurt with her tongue.

"Tell me what you need," she said.

"I need to feel you—please," I whispered, breathlessly.

She slide her hands across my belly then lower to delve beneath the waistband of my jeans and panties, leaning over to press a tiny kiss in my navel. "Here?" she teased.

"Yes—no-…more---I need to feel more of you..." I pleaded trying in vain to capture her face in my hands, to draw her to me, to bring her closer. She evaded my seeking hands , moving lower, sliding my clothes down the length of my legs and off leaving a trail of kisses along the inside of my thighs, down my calves to the tips of my toes

"Like this" She asked, her face a mask of innocence as she continued to torment me.

"What I want,' I said, holding her eyes with the heat in my own, "is your tongue in my mouth, my hands in your hair, your teeth on my neck, my fingernails on your back. I want your skin against mine, your clit hard and pulsing, your wetness against my thigh, and your fingers inside me."

I saw the desire flare, strong and fast in her eyes—heard her swift intake of breath. She rose without a word and quickly removed her clothes, her eyes never leaving mine. I breathed in the sight of her, drinking in her high firm breasts, her tight stomach, her gently curving hips. She sank into my arms with a groan, fusing her mouth to mine in a kiss that embodied deep passion and intense yearning, rising desire and intense love. I reveled in the feel of her breasts against my own, her nipples hard with arousal. I ran my hands down the length of her back and over her hips as our kiss intensified, our legs intertwined, and our bodies rocking together gently.

"Please, baby," I whispered, breaking the kiss and feathering her cheeks with loving kisses, "I need you inside of me."

She shifted her weight, sliding her hand between our bodies and groaning helplessly with desire her forehead against my chest, as her fingers found my swollen core. She stroked my wetness, looking up to meet my eyes in an unspoken question.

"Now, please," I moaned, our eyes locked together as she entered me with agonizing slowness, my back arching off the bed as every nerve ending fired in pleasure a pleasure that only intensified as she curled her fingers back hitting me in the place she knew made me tremble. Her thumb found my clit moving in slow circles in time with her thrusts until a sheen of perspiration covered my skin and my stomach muscles tightened; my heart beat out its rhythm like hammer in my chest, and I felt that delicious coil deep in my belly

I loved when she was inside me like this—for all the endless ways she loved me; I never felt closer to her than when we moved together like this, her flesh in mine, connected in these moments as closely in body as we were in our hearts and our spirits.

"Come for me baby," she whispered, her eyes filled with love and desire. She increased the pressure of her thumb and the speed of her thrusts, rocking me with an irresistible rhythm until I cried out my release and pleasure exploded through my body, leaving me spent and trembling in its wake.

It was always like that with her. Overwhelming and all encompassing and shaking me to my very core. I had never been as deeply connected to anyone as I was to her, and I knew that if I spent the next fifty years loving her, I'd still feel as thought it was never enough. I loved her then, telling her with my hands and mouth all the things for which I had no words until the candles burned low and the sky grew bright with the approaching dawn. We fell asleep in each other's arms, which really was home no matter where we were.

I looked at the wealth of cards and receipts and scraps of appear in my hand—anniversaries and milestones and memories that she's carefully saved.

At the bottom of the pile there's a page torn from her daily planner: the address of my old place, scribbled next to my name and phone number, dated the day of our first date. I was so nervous that night; I felt such an attraction to her and such a connection to her, just from being around her for so little time, and I wanted much for her to feel the same. I worried over my clothes, my hair, chiding myself for being so girly and looking at the clock every other minute. At then there she was, standing on my doorstep in the faded leather jacket with a slow seductive smile and she looked to sexy for words.

"Hi," she said.

She took my breath away.

I hear the door open and look at the bedside clock, amazed at how the hours had passed as I'd sat there on the floor immersed in memories of our past. I heard her footsteps in the hall and quickly grabbed a pen from the night table adding today's date to the page from her day planner, and my own words below her distinctive scrawl. I tucked everything back in her jacket, and carefully replaced it in the closet, stroking the soft leather fondly, and thinking with a smile of the surprise she'd experience the next time she leaved through her pockets.

"_You had me in your pocket right then and there—I've been there ever since."_


	10. Incentive

Olivia stood in the kitchen, quickly rinsing off the last of the dinner dishes, sliding them into the dishwasher, pouring in soap and slamming the door closed with practiced precision and grace. All day, sitting across the desk from Elliot, she heard him humming the theme song to that annoying purple dinosaur show. He shrugged his shoulders at her and said he couldn't help that Eli had no taste. Hearing herself hum it on the way home had horrified her. Now having it obsessively run through her head was both embarrassing and starting to slowly driving her insane. During their dinner together, Alex had cocked an eyebrow at her.

"What's that?"

"What?"

"What are you humming?"

She could feel herself blush as she denied making a sound. Only seconds later, Alex actually threatened her with physical harm if she didn't stop—threatening worse if the tune transferred and got stuck in her head.

Pulling the garbage out of the can and very consciously clearing her head, she replaced the bag with a new one. She grabbed a towel and ran it over the counters as she did a final inspection. Convinced everything was in its place, she ran the garbage outside and returning, locked the doors and happily headed down the hallway humming to herself.

Opening the door, she saw her girlfriend laid out on the bed. She stood in the doorway, leaning into the frame, watching Alex lying on top of the sheets, a book in her hand and her glasses tipped onto the end of her nose. Her hair was still wet from the shower she had taken earlier and was piled on top of her head. Olivia smiled at her, at the tight white tank top and black yoga pants that didn't hide her body, but instead, accentuated her curves. Alex had been teasing her all night, not outright, but just enough to give Olivia hope that maybe she wasn't too tired. She was hoping tonight would be her night, but the pajamas were a mixed signal. She could feel herself involuntarily lick her lips as she watched Alex. "Hey," she said.

Alex let her eyes rise and caught Olivia's from across the room. "Hey." She said, stretching, putting her book down on the stand next to her. "You ready for bed?"

'Something like that,' Olivia thought frowning as Alex pulled off her glasses and slid between the covers. Olivia started stripping down, grabbing an old t-shirt and sliding it over her head.

"Get the lights?" Alex asked, before Olivia managed to slide into bed.

"Sure," Olivia said, shutting the lights off and crawling into the bed next to Alex. She found herself lying there, staring at the darkened ceiling, listening to Alex breathe wondering if Alex was waiting for her to make a move or not. She turned over, letting her body snuggle up against Alex's. She wrapped her arm over the blonde's waist, and let her fingers gently run against the skin of Alex's stomach.

"You awake?" Olivia whispered.

"Mmhmm," Alex purred, a smile in her voice.

"Do you want to?" Olivia asked, placing a light kiss on the back of her neck

"Did you start the dishwasher?" Alex asked.

"Yes."

"And you took the garbage out?"

"Yep." Olivia said again, pulling her body closer to Alex's.

Alex rolled over to face her. In the darkness, Olivia could just barely make out the grin on her face. She felt Alex's hand reach up and stroke the line of her face. Alex slid forward, letting her lips gently touch Olivia's.

Olivia, desperate for contact, pulled Alex closer, letting her fingers run through the blonde's hair, pushing her tongue into Alex's mouth. It was a fevered kiss, filled with a hunger that left both of them gasping for more. Alex slid her hand from Olivia's cheek and slipped it between the sheets, tracing the long line of Olivia's leg before dipping between them finding the already damp flesh that was waiting for her.

Olivia moaned as Alex teased her. Her body tensed as she tried to rub herself against Alex's hand, hearing herself whimpering pitifully as she begged for more. Alex knew her. Knew what she wanted. Knew what would drive her wild. She also knew that she wanted to tease Olivia. Alex pushed Olivia's shoulders back into the bed. Finally on top of her, she kissed a line down her neck before recapturing Olivia's lips in a breath stealing kiss.

Alex loved the way Olivia's body moved under hers; the way her hips lifted off the bed in a desperate attempt to push into Alex's hand, the way her muscles flexed, the way her legs wrapping around Alex's as she tried to pull the blonde into her. Alex wanted to hold Olivia on edge; she wanted her body to react like an electric current was running through it. With a deep kiss, she let her finger slide into Olivia receiving from the brunette the most satisfying sound she had ever heard. Pushing into her, she watched as Olivia's head fell back, her body arched, and a whisper of Alex's name fell from her lips.

Olivia groaned as Alex moved her fingers inside skillfully, filling her, sliding over her. Olivia felt the room spinning as all the sensations in her body started to focus. She was too dizzy to think, too dizzy to breathe, and to dizzy to do anything but come for Alex.

With Alex's name still on her lips, her breath still coming in gasps, her mind started to clear. Olivia became conscious of Alex's lips against hers. Returning the kiss, she let her hands roam down Alex's back, grabbing her butt and squeezing it. Alex yelped in surprise, giving Olivia another quick peck and then rolling off her, turning her back to Olivia.

Olivia was surprised but knew it was part of

"Al?" Olivia said, cuddling into her, her body still primed.

"Hmm?"

"Can I?" She said, breathing on Alex's neck, feeling her tighten in her arms.

Olivia could see Alex's eyebrows rise. "Did you take the recyclables out?" Alex asked her.

"Really, Alex?"

"Really."

"Yes." Olivia groaned.

"Did you really? Or did you just put them by the door thinking you'd get up first and you could take them out before I saw?"

"I really took them out. I promise." Olivia said, grinning.

Alex looked over her shoulder giving Olivia a dubious smile. Rolling back over, grinned as Olivia pushed up onto her elbows and planted a kiss on her stomach. Olivia slid her hands up Alex's sides, taking the tank top with her, letting her tongue follow the path upwards—her dark eyes locked with Alex's blue ones.

Their lips locked only for a moment before Olivia slid herself down Alex's body, placing light feather kisses down Alex's stomach. She smiled to herself as she felt Alex's hands wrap in hair, her impatient hands pushing downwards as she tried her best to direct Olivia's head. In moments, with Olivia positioned just as she wanted, Alex felt her immediate reaction to the brunettes tongue running over her. Olivia played her body like an instrument, bringing her personal symphony into a full crescendo in what seemed like moments. While Olivia worked to draw out Alex's climax, Alex moaned and held her tight. With a shuddering release, Alex pulled Olivia to her, kissing her, holding her, and finally, letting herself fall back into Olivia's strong arms.

Olivia smiled, sleepily taking in the scent of Alex's shampoo, the scent of her skin.

"Liv?" Alex mumbled.

"Yeah?"

"We have laundry we need done," she said sleepily, "will you do that tomorrow?"

Olivia happily nuzzled the back of her neck and whispered softly, "Yes."


	11. The Employee Handbook

"We should stop," Alex said, in a semi-sweet, semi-smug tone while Olivia placed whisper soft kisses on her neck. She felt herself immediately react, her head falling back, letting Liv have access to everything she wanted, while reason danced through her head.

"Really, Liv, we shouldn't be doing this, not here." Olivia appraised her face. Alex already had the breathless pant that betrayed her arousal. Her cheeks were flushed a deep crimson, and as Olivia looked into her wide eyes and could tell immediately how she was supposed to respond. She didn't need any additional hints, she knew Alex well, but she let Alex continue to try to convince her otherwise. "It's against the rules," she mumbled, gazing at the floor as if she was totally surprised that she could ever break the rules and do this. Like they hadn't done this before.

"What is?" Olivia teased. "This?" She asked as she slid her hands up the blonde's body, holding her letting her hands find the blonde's breasts and pinching them before pulling away.

"Uh huh," Alex smiled, playing coy, "That's very wrong."

Pressing Alex into the wall of her office so her palms were splayed flat on the wall, Olivia stared down her body appraisingly, knowing that Alex was watching her. She looked into the blue eyes staring at her, and slowly, slid her hands up Alex's thighs, taking her short black skirt up over her hips. Olivia let her body rock into Alex's, eliciting a moan from the attorney. Olivia kissed Alex's cheek, pressed tight against her and then pulled back, admiring the view.

"Or this?" Olivia whispered her mouth against Alex's neck, teeth poised ready to nip at the oversensitive skin. Alex could feel the hot breath on her body as she closed her eyes and tried to focus. Olivia could feel Alex tremble in her arms, her strength betraying itself as Olivia found each one of her spots, as if they were marked. As if Olivia had her own map of Alex's body and was simply following the road

"That," Alex insisted, taking a deep breath, "Is definitely unacceptable."

"Ah," Olivia smiled, sighing into her neck. "I think I'm getting it. You're saying you don't want me to do this-" Olivia teased as she gently slipped her fingers into the band of Alex's light blue panties. The lace around the hem made Olivia smile, a total turn on, and the way they fit Alex—a perfect and snug fit, showing all that was perfect about her girlfriend's body only served to make her mouth water. Even more exquisite was the fact that she knew Alex had picked them out just for her. Olivia let her mind wander to Alex searching her drawers for this pair—choosing it with the idea of giving her pleasure, and making Olivia's own sex pulse with a life of its own.

Olivia slipped them down Alex's long legs, inches at a time, licking her lips. Standing up, pressing her body into Alex's, she let her fingers fall between Alex's legs as she leisurely ran her fingers over the sensitive skin. Finding her target, she rubbed small circles over Alex's clit, smugly smiling as Alex sucked in her breath at the first waves of pleasure. She was losing her cool—her ability to rationalize.

Not so clever now, Olivia thought with a smile, as she brought her shining fingers between them, turning Alex around, staring directly into the blonde's eyes as she licked them clean.

"Oh God," Alex moaned. She couldn't help but find the whole thing overwhelmingly erotic and she could feel herself starting to feel dizzy with the feelings of arousal that were pulsing through her.

"Is this wrong?" Olivia asked, reaching under her skirt again, letting her fingers find Alex's clit again as she gently stroked.

"No, no, God, don't stop" Alex moaned.

At Alex's request to not stop, Olivia let her fingers slide inside the blonde. Holding her up with one hand, Olivia let her fingers slide in and out of her girlfriend. Alex moaned and Olivia wanted to take her, right there and then, letting her release right there in then. But she would make Alex wait, make the whole thing sweeter. Sliding down her body, Olivia found her knees and slid Alex's leg over her shoulder.

Olivia stared up at the blonde. "I don't know, Al. If employees aren't supposed to date, then I probably shouldn't do this."

"The book…" she gasped, "doesn't say anything about, about that," Alex mumbled in a rush.

"What do you mean? It says we can't date but me making you come on my face is all right?" Olivia asked, her smile growing.

"God, Olivia, shut up." Alex moaned.

"Are you saying we shouldn't follow the rules, Al? That's not really fair to the rest of the workforce, is it?" Olivia teased.

"I, I just," Alex moaned, but stopped, because Olivia's tongue had already started tripping along the seam of her body, playing her sweetly. Olivia knew all the things Alex liked best. She let her tongue make several smooth rotations around Alex's clit, just brushing it carefully, not actually touching it, while the blonde above her squirmed. She moved as slowly as she could, building the tension until Alex thought she would die if Olivia didn't hurry. Alex let her fingers lace in Olivia's hair, her body shaking, her mind focusing on how god damn good it was going to feel when Olivia finally brought her over the edge. But Olivia wasn't bringing her anywhere. Not yet. With a slow and steady pace, Olivia resumed her lazy, crazy, everlasting circles that made her want to scream.

"So," Olivia asked, speaking right up against Alex's' most tender skin, "What would the employee handbook say about this?"

"No, nothing, nothing," Alex whispered, sounding like she was begging.

But Alex was the one who brought it up. Olivia wanted her to remember that as Alex desperately bit her own lip to keep from crying out. Alex was the one who had broken out the book in the first place and highlighted with a yellow highlighter all the rules they were breaking.

Olivia could tell how close Alex was, her back was arching, her hands wrapped tight holding Olivia in place. Olivia let one hand rest on Alex's waist while the other slid fingers inside her. Alex's face changed, her eyes lost focus, and with a lovely faraway look she travelled to the point of "I'm almost there." They both were very familiar with that place, but Olivia was ready to push Alex a little further.

Out in the hall, Olivia could hear the sounds of the secretaries working. She could hear the voices of phone calls being answered, people having hushed conversations about charges and plea bargains. She could hear the steps of eager young law clerks bustling back and forth trying to complete their assignments quickly. Everyone was busy. Everyone needed something. No one would bother them though, the two of them, in their own very important private meeting. They had as much time as they needed.

So much time to do all the things Olivia needed to do for Alex. She wanted to make her crazy with the fact that she couldn't scream, couldn't make any noise. She absolutely could not be loud. And God, Alex so wanted to be loud.

Olivia smiled, because this was what she had been thinking about the whole time. If they were going to break the rules, they might as well do it right. Might as well really get down to business and break all the rules with style and finesse. Who in their right mind wouldn't agree?


	12. One Size Fits All

"Really Alex?" Olivia whined. "It's our first day off together in weeks. I thought you'd want to spend it together."

"We will be spending it together." Alex said, as she smiled.

"But I hate shopping, Al."

"I know, Sweetie," Alex said, moving closer to Olivia, letting her hands rest on Olivia's shoulders, trying not to smile at Olivia's pout. "It'll only be an hour or two. Then we can go and have a nice romantic dinner, see a movie" Alex said, leaning in closer, letting her finger run down Olivia's body. "Maybe you'll get lucky and your girlfriend will let you feel her up during the show." Alex smiled, watching as Olivia tried her hardest not to smile.

"Did you know it's against the law to bribe a cop?" Olivia said, as stoically as possible. She could feel the smile break out on her face. She couldn't stay mad at Alex, and she couldn't say no either.

"It's not bribery." Alex giggled.

"You know I hate shopping." Olivia whined.

"Unless we're in a police warehouse."

"I'm career oriented."

"Yeah, watching you drool on the gun counter is so entertaining."

"I do not drool." Olivia smiled. "And most of the time, I don't drag you along."

"Fine," Alex said, turning away. "Do what you want, stay home?"

"No, no, Alex, I don't want to ruin this day with an argument. You promise to keep it under two hours, and you're buying dinner. Then we have a deal."

"Love you," Alex said, giving Olivia a quick kiss on the cheek as she scampered into the bedroom, only to appear moments later in an entirely new outfit. She grabbed her shoes and slipped them on only to feel a firm slap on her ass.

"Jesus Liv." Alex laughed. "You better be nice to me if you want some later," she teased with a giant grin that lit up her eyes.

"Sure sure, tease the sex addict." Olivia smiled back. "You know," she said, "Maybe I should get some now, you know, for being agreeable." Olivia said, leaning into Alex, letting her hand quickly run up her body and cup her breast.

"On no you don't," Alex said, "That's definitely for later. You know, based on performance."

Sooner rather than later, Olivia thought to herself with a smug smile as they left for the mall.

Olivia trudged behind Alex, trying not to moan. Half the time, these shopping trips ended with Alex agonizing over two outfits that to Olivia looked precisely the same. Then, because she couldn't decide, Alex wouldn't get either and it was another two hours of Olivia's life that she was never getting back. The other half of the time, Olivia became Alex's butler, carrying her bags as Alex flashed her gold card. She was in a gold card kind of mood today and not only did Olivia's feet hurt, but her arms did too as she listened to Alex continue to talk about the great deal on Coach purses that was supposedly going on downstairs. Her speech was still going on when she stopped dead in front of Olivia, causing the bored detective to walk right into her.

"A little notice." Olivia grumbled.

"Stop being bitchy," Alex said, rolling her eyes. "I don't remember that store being there before. Do you?"

"Really Alex? You're asking me? It could have been there for ten years and I never would have noticed."

"Come on, let's check it out."

"Happy happy joy joy" Olivia said, under her breath.

"I heard that," Alex said, as she yanked Olivia's arm pulling her into the store.

Following behind her again, Olivia let her eyes wander around the store. The woman sitting behind the counter was lost in a copy of Vouge and seemed to not have noticed that they had entered. The woman was older and had a severe profile. Her hair was pulled back tightly, and Olivia was thankful the woman seemed less than eager to help them. More than she hated shopping, she hated being followed around the store being asked if she could be helped. Her eyes trained on the cashier, she was again startled as she ran directly into Alex again.

"Jesus Alex, you need some brake lights."

"Well if you would pay attention to where you were going, we wouldn't have this problem would we?"

"I'm not a mind reader, Al."

"Well you don't have to stumble around like you just had a lobotomy either. Could you pretend to be interested?" Alex asked.

"Okay, okay." Olivia grumbled.

"What do you think about this?" Alex asked pulling a suit off the rack.

"It's nice."

"Nice?"

"You'd look good in it. Try it on." Olivia said, with a forced smile.

"Come with me." Alex said. "I don't want to come out here to show it to you."

"Are you serious?" Olivia asked. "With Nurse Ratchet over there."

"That's exactly why I don't want to come out here."

"You're worse than a kid Alex." Olivia said, as she followed behind Alex who picked up another outfit on her way to the back.

Sitting heavily on the bench seat, Olivia unloaded her bags and watched as Alex started to unbutton her top.

Olivia smiled. "So this is what it takes now for you to take your clothes off for me? Promises of new ones?"

"Oh yeah baby," Alex teased in her deeper sexy voice. The one that drove Olivia crazy.

"Turns you on to shop, huh?" Olivia asked, never breaking eye contact from Alex's eyes.

"Mmm hmm." Her shirt dropped to the floor.

"Want some help?" Olivia asked.

"Maybe." Alex said, kicking off her shoes and unbuttoning her jeans. Olivia slowly reached out and unzipped them, pulling them down Alex's legs. Bending away from Olivia, she sat on the bench next to her and pulled the jeans the rest of the way off.

"Come on Alex, one little kiss?" Olivia nearly begged.

"Don't you want to see this outfit on me?"

"I like it better off you right now." Olivia smiled.

"God, you are perpetually horny." Alex laughed, slapping her on the arm.

"Yes and you love it," Olivia said, smiling at her. She grabbed Alex's hand and pulled it around her neck.

Olivia leaned slowly into Alex and kissed her full on the lips, waiting for another smack, but pleasantly surprised when Alex kissed her back. As they held each other, continuing to kiss, they found themselves completely oblivious to their surroundings. Seconds turned to minutes until a female voice interrupted them. "Honey, can you get this in a little smaller?" to which a male voice said, "Yes, dear," with a tone that was less than friendly.

"Sounds like someone I k now." Alex smiled.

Olivia didn't waste the moment, grabbing her face and pulling her back into the kiss, and suddenly, the kiss picked up where it left off. Olivia let her hands roam over Alex's nearly naked body, sliding up her torso and cupping her breast, letting her thumb rub over her nipple feeling satisfaction as it hardened under her touch.

Alex, who normally was not a risk taker, felt every bit as turned on by this as Olivia seemed to be. It was strange—but she needed Olivia, and she needed her right now. She pulled Olivia on top of her on the bench, letting herself lie back as Olivia claimed the space above her. She felt Olivia's hands all over her, as they had been a thousand times, but this time, it was urgent and needy. "Please baby," Alex whispered into Olivia's ear, before pulling her into another deep kiss. Olivia slipped her hand into Alex's underwear and felt the warm wetness that was gathering quickly. 'What the hell?' Olivia thought, 'Why stop now?"

Pulling herself into a sitting position, Olivia yanked Alex's underwear off. She pulled the chair in the dressing room closer to the bench, letting Alex lay more comfortably. Olivia caught both of them in the mirror, Alex leaned back, nearly naked, and breathing hard; her legs barely spread on the bench opened as Olivia pushed the chair against the bench and watched as Alex adjusted herself.

On her knees, Olivia let her finger run through Alex's wetness before she slid her finger inside. Smelling the wonderful smell of Alex's desire, Olivia let her finger slide into Alex faster. Alex bucked her body, pressing down hard on Olivia's hand. Keeping her rhythm, Olivia bent her head for a taste of Alex's arousal. 'God,' Olivia thought, 'she's so wet.' Olivia let her tongue cover Alex, her fingers inside. She was so close. Alex was biting her lip, trying so hard to be quiet. Olivia covered her with her lips and sucked, knowing it would drive Alex over the edge. Sure enough, she felt Alex's legs swing over her shoulders, locking her head in place. "Don't…stop…" she panted.

"God, I'm going to come" Alex let slip as her body tightened around Olivia's fingers her thighs squeezing Olivia's head in place, begging her to push just a little farther. Olivia did—running her tongue over sensitive flesh. Olivia's face was buried in her when she felt Alex's muscles begin to contract—her body bursting into orgasm.

Olivia watched her face as she came, overwhelmed with her ability to give Alex so much pleasure. After a moment, Alex let her legs fall from Olivia's shoulders as she forced herself up, letting herself slide into Olivia's lap. "I love you," She whispered as she wrapped her arms tightly around Olivia.

Olivia leaned back and kissed her. "I love you too."

After a moment of collecting themselves, Alex slipped on the suit and absolutely hated it. Olivia smiled at Alex, kissing her one more time before they left the dressing room. Olivia led the way as they walked towards the door of the store. Noticing the cashier was not at her post, Olivia was almost thankful. She wasn't sure she could actually face the woman with a straight face. That was until she stopped suddenly, Alex slamming into her back.

"Who needs brake lights now?" Alex groused.

Then she noticed the look on Olivia's face and followed her gaze. In the front window of the store was a sign: "Warning: For security purposes, this store contains two way mirrors."


	13. Magic

The date had been made in advance. Something they both agreed to, both of them excited and nervous.

Together, they were undeniably shy.

There they were.

The two of them.

Together.

Sitting there.

Across the table from each other, both were staring intently.

Both of whom were very unsure. Two incredibly brave women—neither short of things to say, both found themselves speechless as they faced each other.

It's funny—the business of falling in love. There are so many signs—so many ways that we tell each other things without using words. What makes it so that our heartbeat races? What makes it so that your breath quickens? What is it that makes some people freeze solid while others become undeniably wet? Our pupils open, dilating so we can see everything—a feeling that left Alex feeling dizzy and Olivia exposed. All they could do was sit across from each other with shy smiles.

Across the table sat a calm cool Olivia Benson. No tells—unless you knew where to look. She sat comfortably with a poker face, a smile that gave nothing away. But if you knew—if you looked hard enough and you could see the leg shaking restlessly under the table. A deep breath caught in her throat. There was so much she wanted to say. For three hours they sat together at the table, and for three hours Olivia's leg shook uncontrollably.

She wanted to tell Alex how long she had been waiting for this date. She wanted to tell her how attractive she was. She wanted to tell her how much she meant. She wanted to look across the table and ask the other woman the only question that was relevant in her mind—"Don't you know by now? All you have to do is ask?"

Alex also could have said any number of things. It was hard for her to decide which she wasn't used to at all. She wasn't sure what to show and what to hide. She could have said that she loved books. She could have said she lived uptown and owned a cat. She could have explained how long it had been. She could have said, "I find you undeniably attractive."

But she didn't.

Instead she told Olivia about her love of the sea—walking along the shore and finding sea shells she thought were magical. Sea shells that sang the song of the sea. Olivia smiled and told her she loved the sea too.

Alex blushed, and stared down into her plate. She didn't blush. She never blushed, but here she was, across from the woman who left her mystified.

Olivia watched. There were things she could say. She could say what others had said. What are your interests? Do you have any pets? Where are you from? They were all reasonable questions, but none of them seemed right. Instead, she found her mouth moving of its own volition, going on and on, but Alex sat smiling, listening the whole time.

Alex could have said, "Would you like to be near the sea with me? And hold me close, and listen to the noises, and feel the spray, and taste the saltiness?" She could say it now, of course. Now that they were together and held each other close every night. Now that she could rely on Olivia to be with her. When everything goes right, Olivia holds her, and hears her, and tastes her. Now finally, she watches Olivia's legs move, watching as they open and close, and stretch and push.

Now sometimes Alex walks along the sea, where they had held hands, and she looks for the magical shells. She finds one—finally—and holds it up to look into it; seeing Olivia's brown eyes and her face where the shell twists into itself.

She always knew they had magic in them.


End file.
